A Personal Heart Examination
Section A: Circle any of the following statements that are true about you or your parents (or your step-parents if they had a major influence on you growing up) if the statement was true some or most of the time. Otherwise, leave the number blank. Instructions for the self-scoring key are found at the end of the exam.
1. I grew up often feeling I was all on my own.
2. I was raised by parents who were too busy to notice me.
3. I was often upset or frightened by my father or mother’s temper.
4. I remember being sexually abused by someone when I was growing up.
5. My father or mother would simply shut down their emotions and feel nothing.
6. I was criticized for not measuring up to my father or mother’s standards.
7. I grew up in an environment where people rarely said, “I forgive you.”
8. My father or mother always had to have the last word in any conversation.
9. When one of my parents got depressed they would ignore or neglect the rest of us.
10. My mother or father would get upset when someone told them what to do.
11. I discovered pornography kept in our house.
12. I was taught that a career or earning money is the true measure of success.
13. I never felt I was good enough no matter how hard I tried.
14. When I was hurting no one reached out to comfort me.
15. I was sometimes spanked too hard or slapped in anger.
16. My dad or mother could easily get emotionally upset.
17. I always felt I was a disappointment to my parents.
18. When I was young I was left alone for hours to take care of myself.
19. It seemed like money was the one thing that made my parents happy.
20. My father would watch movies with explicit sexual scenes.
21. I grew up being taught to distrust those in authority.
22. My mother or father would go to a room and not come out if they were sad or upset.
23. One of my parents was overly controlling.
24. Old hurts and wounds caused by others were often rehearsed at our dinner table.
25. Our family was happy when we had money and miserable when we were broke.
26. One of my parents had an affair while I was growing up.
27. One of my parents wanted little or nothing to do with God.
28. I was afraid of making a mistake because of the rejection I would experience.
29. One parent would just walk away if the other parent started to argue with them.
30. I was sometimes slapped, hit with a fist or beaten with a belt as a form of discipline.
31. I had to emotionally prop up one of my parents when they were sad or depressed.
32. My father or mother would get very upset if they did not get their way.
33. I rarely heard the words, “I forgive you…” growing up.
34. One of my parents used profanity or swore quite often.
35. My parents would make promises to me then just forget about them.
36. My father or mother abandoned our home when I was young.
37. I sometimes fear I’m going to end up in life all alone.
38. I sometimes think I could just disappear and no one would care.
39. I sometimes find myself swearing under my breath.
40. The memories of abuse in my home are just too painful to talk about.
41. When someone mistreats me I can disconnect and not feel anything.
42. I have to do everything just right in life to feel good about myself.
43. I think people should earn my forgiveness if they’ve hurt me.
44. I need to feel in charge to feel comfortable.
45. I can’t focus on the needs of others when I’m really sad or down.
46. I really don’t like having a boss I have to report to – I’d rather work for myself.
47. I spend a good deal of time each daydreaming about sex.
48. I’ll put in longer hours of overtime if I can gain recognition for it.
49. I’m depressed when other people are able to buy nice things I can’t afford.
50. I enjoy reading racy romance novels or watching steamy movies.
51. I resent people telling me what to do.
52. I tend to think only about my own problem(s) until they are resolved.
53. I enjoy telling others what to do – it’s the way to get something done.
54. People who mistreat you should pay the price for it.
55. Most people are lazy—they do just enough to get by.
56. I have a hard time remembering large periods of my life.
57. Someone used sex to hurt me when I was younger.
58. I have gotten into real trouble for losing my temper.
59. If I don’t take care of myself no one else will.
60. I fear the people that I love will one day leave me.
61. I find it hard to sympathize with people who are hurting.
62. I try to help people by pointing out their weaknesses or short-comings.
63. I feel like damaged goods.
64. I often regret things I’ve said in an argument.
65. I frequently forget important things like anniversaries or birthdays.
66. I worry that someday I will be all alone.
67. Making a good living is my number one goal in life
68. I have a sexual fantasy life no one knows anything about.
69. I don’t like anyone telling me what to do.
70. I forget about the needs of others when I’m depressed.
71. I’ve been told I come on too strong with other people.
72. I’ve been told I have a hard time forgiving others.
73. I’ve been told I’m too married to my work.
74. I’ve been told I overreact when someone tells me to do something.
75. I’ve been told I tend to dominate people.
76. I’ve been told I’m a perfectionist.
77. I’ve been told I don’t know how to enjoy life.
78. I’ve been told I’m too sensitive to criticism.
79. I’ve been told I have a lust problem.
80. I’ve been told I just check out when things gets too intense.
81. I’ve been told I have trouble asking for forgiveness.
82. I’ve been told others worry how often I get depressed.
83. I’ve been told I have a problem with my temper.
84. I’ve been told I worry too much about being all alone in life.
Section B: Please circle the number if the statement is true of your personal thoughts or behavior some or most of the time. If it is not true of your personal thoughts or behavior some or most of the time, leave it blank. Again, answer these questions from the perspective of the worst time of your life, whether that is recently or in the past. Instructions for the self-scoring key are found at the end of the exam.
1. I struggle with wicked or evil thoughts toward others.
2. I find myself attracted to movies that include sexual immorality.
3. I take things from others but don’t return them.
4. I sometimes wish a person who hurt me was dead.
5. I look at other people with lustful thoughts.
6. I find myself always wanting to have more than what I already own.
7. I can carry a deep grudge toward some people.
8. I will tell a small lie to avoid getting into trouble.
9. I sometimes laugh at dirty jokes.
10. I am often jealous of someone else’s looks or accomplishments.
11. I like to think I know better than most people.
12. I will say bad things about other people behind their back.
13. I have made several foolish decisions I came later to regret.
14. I disregard the warnings of others if I believe I know better.
15. I like to be the one person that’s noticed in a room.
16. I say biting things about other people.
17. I’m sad or upset when other people get recognized and I don’t.
18. I enjoy seeing sexually suggestive or illicit scenes occur in a movie.
19. I sometimes lie when it’s just as easy to tell the truth.
20. I hope something bad happens to my enemies.
21. No matter how much money I have, I always seem to want more.
22. I flirt with someone else’s spouse now and then.
23. I get so mad at others that I could hurt them.
24. I sometimes cheat a little on income taxes.
25. I was involved in premarital sexual experiences.
26. I sometimes imagine myself doing things that I know are wrong.
27. I struggle with feelings of hatred toward someone.
28. I take things home from the office and don’t bring them back.
29. I enjoy making eye contact with an attractive person even if they’re married.
30. I really struggle with resentment.
31. I find obscene jokes or stories amusing.
32. Occasionally I will spread damaging information about other people.
33. I don’t like consulting with others before I make a big decision.
34. I dwell on sexual experiences I had before I was married.
35. I have to admit there are some people I almost hate.
36. I find myself attracted to owning expensive or nice things.
37. I put on appearances to get people to think what I want them to think.
38. I am upset when someone close to me gets something I really wanted.
39. I associate with people who make me look good.
40. I sometimes have evil thoughts about other people.
41. I will watch a sexually explicit program when my no one is looking.
42. I take things from others and don’t tell them.
43. I can get so upset with someone that I wish they were dead.
44. I find myself thinking about other potential lovers during sexual intimacy.
45. I am willing to put my others in second place if I can get ahead in my finances.
46. I have some real feelings of ill will toward others.
47. I sometimes tell white lies.
48. In my mind I bring sensual images from the Internet into my bedroom.
49. I am jealous of others in certain areas.
50. I will reveal confidential or embarrassing things about another person in a conversation.
51. I can handle life on my own.
52. I like taking risky chances with my money even if others warn me.
53. I have deep grievances I’ve never shared with anyone.
54. Buying something I want makes me happy but soon I want something else.
55. I think a lot about my former boyfriend or girlfriend even though I’m married.
56. I can’t help hating certain people.
57. I take things home from work and don’t return them.
58. I like to give a second glance to a sexy person who passes by.
59. I know some of my thoughts are wicked – but I like them anyway.
60. I am a thrill-seeker who likes taking foolish chances.
61. I feel than I’m usually right and other people are usually wrong.
62. I will sometimes say things that could destroy someone else’s reputation.
63. I am jealous of other people.
64. I will tell a dirty joke now and then.
65. I often exaggerate to make things sound better than they are.
66. I spend a great deal of time daydreaming about sexual fantasies.
67. I take things without asking.
68. I dwell on how much people I dislike should suffer for their sins.
69. I can hate another person who mistreats me.
70. I find myself looking at people, even if they are married, and wishing we were in a romantic relationship.
71. I can use spiteful words about others.
72. I make quick and impulsive decisions.
73. I like to read all the details about celebrities or politicians who get caught in a sexual scandal.
74. I will punish others with the silent treatment.
75. I push myself to earn more this year than I did last year.
76. I leave people with a false impression of what I’m thinking.
77. I wish I could live the life of someone else rather than my own.
78. I’m wiser than most people I know.
Personal Heart Examination Scoring Key
Using the answer sheets from the Personal Heart Examination, Section A, circle each number you circled in the exam. Then count the number of times you circled a number on each line and put the total at the end of that line under Score.
Section A: The Types of a Hardened Heart Score
Abandoned Heart 1 14 35 37 60 66 84 _____
Rejected Heart 2 13 33 38 59 65 78 _____
Angry Heart 3 16 34 39 58 64 83 _____
Defiled Heart 4 15 30 40 57 63 77 _____
Detached Heart 5 18 29 41 56 61 80 _____
Judgmental Heart 6 17 28 42 55 62 76 _____
Bitter Heart 7 24 36 43 54 72 81 _____
Controlling Heart 8 23 32 44 53 71 75 _____
Proud Heart 9 22 31 45 52 70 82 _____
Rebellious Heart 10 21 27 46 51 69 74 _____
Immoral Heart 11 20 26 47 50 68 79 _____
Temporal Heart 12 19 25 48 49 67 73 _____
Taking the Next Steps:
Now that you’ve completed the questions in Section A and totaled the score for each type of locked heart, you should look for the scores that are the highest in number. A score of zero means you likely do not struggle with this type of locked heart. A score of one to two indicates it may be a slight problem, a score of three to five suggests this is an issue in your life, and a score of six to seven indicates a likely serious heart issue in this area. It’s entirely possible that you may find you have one or more types of locked heart in your life.
Take your list of locked hearts and starting with the highest score, pray through each locked heart in the following way:
“Dear Lord Jesus, I confess that I struggle with a (the name of the type of hardened heart) that is the result of my painful experiences and sinful choices. I ask your forgiveness for my hardened heart and choose to renounce a (the name of the type of the hardened heart). I ask you to remove it from my life and in its place to give me a softened heart.
"I claim the Bible’s promise of Ezekiel 36:26, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Thank you, Jesus that the finished work of the Cross has made me a new creation, that the old (the name of the type of hardened heart) is now gone and the new has come. Help my new heart remain soft toward you and others each and every day. In the Name of Jesus I pray, Amen.”
Personal Heart Examination Scoring Key
Using the answer sheets from the Personal Heart Examination, Section B, circle each number you circled in the exam. Then count the number of times you circled a number on each line and put the total at the end of that line under Score.
Section B: The Types of Spiritual Sin Issues of a Hardened Heart Score
Evil Thoughts 1 26 27 40 59 68 _____
Sexual Immorality 2 25 34 41 58 66 _____
Theft 3 24 28 42 57 67 _____
Murder 4 23 30 43 56 69 _____
Adultery 5 22 29 44 55 70 _____
Greed 6 21 36 45 54 75 _____
Malice 7 20 35 46 53 74 _____
Deceit 8 19 37 47 65 76 _____
Lewdness 9 18 31 48 64 73 _____
Envy 10 17 38 49 63 77 _____
Arrogance 11 15 39 51 61 78 _____
Slander 12 16 32 50 62 71 _____
Folly (Foolishness) 13 14 33 52 60 72 _____
Taking the Next Steps:
Now that you’ve completed the questions in Section B and totaled the score for each type of spiritual issue from a hardened heart, look for the scores that are the highest in number. A score of zero means you likely do not struggle with this type of spiritual issue. A score of one to two indicates it may be a slight problem, a score of three to five suggests it is a spiritual issue to address in your life and a score of six to seven likely indicates a serious spiritual issue. It’s entirely possible that you may find you have one or spiritual
Take your list of spiritual issues and starting with the highest score, pray through each locked heart in the following way:
“Dear Lord Jesus, I confess that I struggle with (the name of the type of spiritual sin issue) that is the result of my painful experiences and sinful choices. I ask your forgiveness for allowing this spiritual issue to harden my heart. I ask you to forgive this sin and remove it from my life and its place to give me a softened heart.
"I claim the Bible’s promise of 1 John 1:7-9, “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin…If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Thank you Jesus, that through the finished work of the Cross I can find complete forgiveness and freedom from (the name of the type of spiritual sin issue.) Keep my heart softened toward you and others each and every day. In the Name of Jesus I pray, Amen.”
© Copyright Bob Moeller 2012
This document may not be copied without the express written consent of the author.
This document may not be copied without the express written consent of the author.
